Warning. As a Schultz, I learned grossly inappropriate humor at an early age. Today I’m pulling one out circa 1982 that’s about a 6.5 on the inappropriate scale. It may not even register on the funny scale.
But what can I say, it’s late, I’m tired, my son needed CPR for a minute or so in the cath lab, doctors brought up heart transplant for the first time today, and I don’t have much in the tank.
Indian guy (Elizabeth Warren-style) in full head dress walks into a bar. Goes up to a girl and says flatly, “Chance.”
She says, “Is that a greeting? Don’t you mean, ‘How?’”
He says, “I know How. Looking for a Chance.”
Erica and I talked a lot about Chance tonight. Chance brought us together, as it does with everyone, I guess. Chance found us trying to have a baby for a good year or so, and finally getting pregnant.
Then Chance decided that baby was not meant to be. We had a miscarriage.
Chance was a pain in the ass at this point.
But I kept looking for all the Chance I could get, and we got pregnant again! This time with Ari.
As we know, Chance was not done throwing curveballs. He sent us to Children’s with a challenging diagnosis, an uncertain future, and a difficult decision: fold or play the hand.
Call the bluff?
Take a Chance?
We went all in.
So here we are in cardiac intensive care, dancing with Chance.
Sometimes in life it feels like Chance is the puppeteer, and we are the puppet. Things happen, and we react.
It struck us today, however, that one night last October, when we decided to press on with an uncertain future, we started dealing the Chance instead of receiving it.
That night nine months ago we grabbed the deck and dealt Ari a Chance at a life.
Which brings us to where we are now: back where we started.
Schultzes walk into the bar and say to the cardiologists, “Chance.”
Cardiologists say back, “You have a Chance. Unfortunately, we’re not sure How.”
How ironical!
This afternoon in the cath lab, Ari was again “delicate,” “fragile,” “perplexing,” and “unusual.”
Why does he have pulmonary hypertension? Why is it a little better than it was last week, but still so stubborn and unreactive? Why is his left ventricle so stiff?
Why, when trying to balloon his mitral valve, did he need CPR and other measures for that minute before they “recaptured” him and got back on track with, you know, continuation of life.
Why doesn’t really matter right now. At the moment, we care more about how.
How are we going to proceed? How will we get him growing and thriving? How can we avoid continuing the discussion about the possibility of a heart transplant that we began for the first time tonight?
It soon became clear, and, as well, fairly straightforward.
After the cath we talked to the doctors about all the options that, at first, seemed overwhelming. It felt like we were in a car dealership learning about all of the cars we could buy. Big…small…fuel efficient…suped up…stripped down… and on and on.
But by the time we left, we were told, “In the end, the only car available to you is this one right here, and you have to buy it if you want to leave the dealership.”
This car is a mitral valve replacement and more EFE resection, most likely within the week.
It’s imperfect. It may not last long. It may fix the whole problem, part of the problem, or none of it. Nobody really knows, but guess what…
It’s the best Chance he has, and we’re taking it.
Echo of Hope 
I’m sorry that I haven’t been coming by to ask how things are going or give you guys support. I have turned into a blubbering mess when it comes to stuff with babies and kids ever since I gave birth to my own. I get teary-eyed every time I see any of your fb posts. Know that I’m thinking of you guys, saying prayers for Ari, and keeping my fingers crossed for a speedy recovery. I’m hoping my daughter will be babysitting Ari in a few years. 🙂
[…] care awaiting another open heart surgery. He has a long fight,but even with this setback,his chances are still good.Thriving Related Posts:Game changerNumber of American children hospitalized for high […]
You are in the best place possible for Ari. I have a nephew who began his life with heart surgeries at Boston childrens Hospsital and he was never supposed to see his 1st, 5th, 7th, (you get the picture) birthdays, and he is a strapping 44 years old this year! Never doubt. Believe!
Prayers are with you and your beautiful baby boy.
Hi, You don’t know me–I stumbled upon your blog through a link from Children’s Hospital. I can’t imagine how hard this all must be for you, your wife, and Ari. Asking from a purely curious (and NOT at all judging) standpoint, why is a heart transplant a bad idea? Wouldn’t a new and healthy heart fix your little sweetheart? Or is the surgery too risky, or something else I am not aware of?
At any rate, your family is in my thoughts now. You have made tough choices, and I hope Chance will lighten up and give you a break sometime soon. You are all very strong and brave, and I wish nothing but the best for your family.
Hi All – Just picked up your story from the Children’s Hospital blog. Fifteen years ago I had a daughter who was “perplexing” (she was born with Ebstein’s Anomoly; later diagnosed with LQT) and also met with the diagnosis of “we don’t know how to fix”. I kept getting reassurances that they would figure it out and they DID!! Dr del Nido and Dr. Marx figured out a surgery – performed a few years ago. Today I put her on a plane to visit her grandparents in AZ – happy, healthy and raring to go. Hugs to all – and I mean ALL! Baby AND parents! Best, Pam
[…] Comments « Chance […]
Erica and Mike,
I know that you haven’t seen much sunlight lately — literally or figuratively. Since I’m back in the “outside” world, I wanted to bring you a little.
Yesterday, Al and I were sitting on the boat and I looked out across the water and the marshes of the Lowcountry where we hoped to raised our son. I said a prayer for both Ari and Banks and felt trememdous peace and comfort.
I know how much the lake means to you and that you have the same hopes and dreams of raising a happy, healthy little boy playing in the place that you hold so dear.
I wanted to let you know that we’ve got your back in South Carolina and are pulling for “Team Danger”.
Although I met Ari only briefly, the memory of his grin breaks me into a smile every time I think about it. That is an incredibly precious gift that he has given to me, especially right now. Others also need to see his infectious smile because it is a dose of pure sunshine.
We appreciate and emphathize with your exhaustion and are anxiously awaiting news on the mitral valve. Please hug all of our friends in Boston and feel their strength.
Dig deep, Team Danger. Adventures await.
Love, Alysann and Al
I’m so sorry to hear this news. We are keeping you in our thoughts and hoping for the best.
Denielle & Henry
Hey Michael,
I just got your update on Linked in and came over to see what you’ve been handling these past 10 months or so. Wow. I had no idea.
First of all, Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy Ari. He really is fantastically adorable. Second, I am sorry he is not well and has to go through so much. Third, I hope you know that I will be thinking about you and your family and praying every day for Ari.
About being lucky… yes, in some ways you are. And you need to focus on those ways in which you are blessed. And other days, just allow yourself to have a complete pity party for all the grief, anxiety and struggle you are going through. You are entitled to that too.
God bless your family.
All my best thoughts, prayers and well wishes,
Kelly Petersen/Fitzgerald Babson MBA’03
You don’t know me-I am a friend of Judy Silvia Goguen. I read along with your journey and I Pray for grace and Ari. His smile is delicious and your spirit sustains me. I will pray for blessings too many to count. ❤
Jim and I and the kids are sending love and light to Ari and you both too
Strength and love
The Fargos
Mike and Erica – Just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you and Ari. He has such a wonderful smile, such a precious baby.
Wow. When you have done what you can do you are left with hope and prayers.We’re pulling for you…lwf
Hoping Chance is completely in your favor this week and all procedures are complication-free. Sending so many heart hugs your way.
Thinking of you guys.
I haven’t checked in in awhile but thought of you tonight and decided to look you up. So sorry to hear Ari is continuing to hasve such problerms. Wahts a heartbreaking roller coaster. I can’t even imagine how hard it is. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ingrid
I’ll be thinking of Ari and sending prayers your way.
God is Great and Blessed be His Name. Some day you will look back and know this. Your difficult journey IS a blessing, it stirs up prayers heavenward that come down on you both and Ari Gabriel Francis. We are all strenghtened with your resolve to go after Chance, God will provide the How. I hope and pray that you feel His Love and Peace on you and in this journey of Chance.
I’m so sorry to hear that Ari is having such a difficult time…it must be just beyond heartbreaking for you guys when you hear news like that. I’ll pray that he does just as great after this heart surgery as he did the after the last one. He’s one tough little nut! Ari is one of the most lucky boys in the world to have such great parents fighting for him…and his loving expressive spirit and great fight has touched so many…you’ve absolutely taken all the best Chances…Ari is one special boy…Love and light to all of you..
As parents we are faced with difficult choices, everyday, that being said…you and Erica have had to make many in such a short time! All your friends and family are behind you 100%!!! I think about Ari often and send him strength and tons of hugs! Ari will be pleased that you took the Chance, he shows it with his wonderful smile!!!
Mike & Erica–I’m finding it difficult to even find the words to express how saddened I am to hear this. I hope and pray for God’s intervention during this procedure and to let your precious little “Ari” have a successful transplant. I know you haven’t met me or my family but we use to vacation at the Garrison House each summer and my daughter, Keely and Erica got to be good friends. She even came back to Albany to spend a week with us. I will always feel a connection with the Stritch family and will continue to pray for your adorable little boy. God Bless you all….especially “Ari.” Kathy Forbes
decisions, decisions, decisions-you have both been so strong right from the start when you made your first decision about Ari Francis. Having met that beautiful little guy twice (and teaching him how to fist bump), I know all of the decisions you both have had to make so far has surpassed where you might of thought this journey would lead you. The strength you have shown to all of us following Ari’s journey is given back to you both tenfold. We love you and as always, our prayers are daily to give you both strength, guide the Doctors minds and hands and keep that beautiful dimpled smile on Ari’s face.
Uncle Dave & Aunti Di.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. You are so strong and Ari is a lucky boy to have you both as his parents.
Hope all goes well with him!
Sarah
Mike & Erica & Ari,
Like so many others that love and care, my prayers and hopes are with you all. I hope you all continue to find the strength, courage, love, and humor, to get you through this and come out well.
Mike, my family prays for Ari every night. I can’t even imagine this set back on you and Erica…but you’ve persevered this long. I hope your current car pick takes you wonderful places for years to come!!!
Erica and Mike, You may not know me(Noreen Ducharme Bridges, Your mom’s cousins) I have been following your adventure into parenthood with Ari, back when he was known as Danger.Being a mom and haveing some medical background I have felt like I was riding the roller coster with you. BUT I have NO idea what you are really feeling. Can only amigine it.I just want you to know that with you two as Ari’s parents and in his conner like you are, that kid has all the love and the best support he can ask for. You two our two of the most brave people I know..I pray often, and wish there was more I could do. Again with your love and suport Ari has the best chance to someday beat this monster.I wish you all best and a good day and better one tomorrow.
Sending you all a big HUG and lots of prayers!! Andrea, Rich, and Richie
Mike, Erica and Ari, you don’t know me, but I do know you and have been with you in this journey from the very beginning through prayers. Through Ed Mascari, I feel like I’m your neighbor too and have been crying with you before God at every uncertaincy and every set back, praising Him and rejoicing at every victory! I would like you to know that, like me, there are many who you don’t know that are walking this walk with you, OK?! Ari, my love, there are many like Grandma Karla praying for you! God bless you and give you the courage you need in this journey. You’re not alone! Love, Gramma Karla Dias!!!
Mike and Erica, what a awful/scary time. I was wondering how it was all going and hoped you had just been busy yesterday. I am sorry to hear they needed to CPR on Ari and you are facing open heart surgery this week. Ari will be drawing on both of your strength in the days ahead. You and Erica are great medicine for him…look at all the beautiful smiles from Ari. Ari, you are the best, keep on smiling sweetie!
there are no words….just love.
I’m with you .. to go for this chance. Ari Francis is blessed to have you as his parents, and we are honored to be part of your extended “family”.
Our love to you all.
Mike and Erica,
Al and I are with you every step of the way from here on. I just wish we could put our arms around you, but we’re heading home today.
We now can be more focused on putting all of our hopes, prayers and positive energy focused on Ari. Please talk to him and tell him to do it for us — as well as for you. I’ll always remember Ari’s bright smile and little grin.
Know that the three of us are with you.
Alysann and Al
Mike and Erica,
All I can say is that I applaud your courage in the face of this ongoing challenge.
I continue to pray for both of you and Ari every single day, and my church’s prayer network folks continue to pray as well.
Every time I walk by your house, I say a special prayer that the three of you will be back on the lake soon and that Ari will grow up here as a strong little boy!
Blessings<
Ed
O my gosh, I found my self watching the news saying I have to check in and see if there was any news about Ari… My heart is heavy for you all . Know my prays are with you and your family. He is such a handsome boy. Ari is definitely destined for great things. Xoxo
You are amazing parents to continue this fight, to give Ari this chance. He’s worth it. Thinking of all of you.
I am so sorry to hear how difficult this experience has been. the uncertainty is painful in the midst of the chaos. I trust that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, that you will find a way to surround Ari in these days with the Love you have for him, to make cherished moments in the “eye of the storm,” stepping away from the chaos. I will keep watching to see the HOW become clear. Praying with you–the medical student from HMS Quad, Kathryn
Rough set of news to hear………its hard to know, when one goes this path, just what will follow. I have done alot of work in transplant and many of these issues go away with a healthy heart. It may truly not be a last resort but actually a saving grace. We hope to see you Friday.Love, Mindy and Dan
Hate this news. ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS NEWS!! Don’t even know what to say. Love y’all, praying for y’all and crying right along with y’all.