Archive for March, 2012

Action stations. Actions stations. Set condition one throughout the ship. This is not a drill.

When we last left our hero, he had felled the Iron Sheik, and just begun his reign as World Wrestling Federation heavyweight champion. Bells rang. Ewoks rejoyced.

Ari came home.


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The bout begins…

Introducing first, the challenger. From Lake Boon, Stow, Massachusetts, weighing 5 pounds, 12 ounces, The Incredible Ari Francis Danger Hulkamania Schultz.

And his opponent, from the Depths of Despair, the World Wrestling Federation heavyweight champion, The Iron “Aortic Stenosis” Sheik.


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Captivity, Day 15

Can I get a T-bone next time?

Time is short. Surveillance at this facility is difficult to evade. Right to it, then.

I write this message with great hopes that it will reach friendly eyes unmolested. Alas I cannot guarantee it will escape interception or be planted with misinformation.

I’ve been taken behind enemy lines. Masters of psychological warfare, my captors must have hypnotized me to believe they, too, are friendlies, but I see right through them. I am no Manchurian Candidate, friends! Send in your Queen of Hearts. Do your worst!

My belief is they intend to gain my trust in order for me to share vital, classified information I’ve thus far kept close to the vest.


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