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International spymaster, professional wrestler, and pop icon Ari Francis Schultz on overexposure, open heart surgery, and Old Spice.

Tell us about “The Decision.” Why did you make the move?

Children’s Hospital was my home for more than half of my life. I’ll always have a special place in my heart (get it?) for the team and fans there, but it was time I took my talents to Stow.

As a part of the New Big 3 – Moms, Schultz, and me – I think we can really do something special, something worthy of the record books. With Ray Ray and Toby coming off the bench, we have some real depth, too.

And who knows what will happen in the draft in the next few years…

Word on the street is you are considering a run for national office. Tell it to us straight. Will you run?

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Set Condition Two?

There are three states of readiness during wartime:

Condition One: Attack is present, or imminent. This alert places the ship at its highest state of readiness. All crews go to their combat posts. Bulkhead doors are closed in case of decompression. Additional Viper pilots are scrambled to supplement the Combat Air Patrol and the Alert Fighters, and flight support crews man their stations. The Combat Information Center (CIC) is locked down and the ship’s commander is on station.

Condition Two: Threat probable, but not present. Crew readiness is somewhat more relaxed than full readiness. This is usually ordered directly after the end of a Condition One alert.

Condition Three: This is the “all clear” alert, returning crews to their normal, day-to-day non-combat duties after Conditions One or Two. This is normal cruising during wartime. Weapons are partially manned, but the ship is at less than full readiness.

Every time we are told “gear up for surgery,” this scene turns on in my head. I see it. I hear it.

Every time.

Right after what you see in the clip, Commander Adama makes the following announcement over the ships 1-MC:

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Action stations. Actions stations. Set condition one throughout the ship. This is not a drill.

Why blog?

Why start telling a story when we so obviously don’t know the ending?

Why invite everyone in to our ‘house’ with the laundry all over the floor, the dishes piled up in the sink, and the leftover cashew chicken having spent more than a day too long in the fridge?

At first, it was practical. Each mini-chapter of the story seemed to take some telling to cover all the bases. By the time we’ve told it 5…10…15 times we get pretty tired out. The 16th person deserves to hear the update as much as the 15th, but by that time the telling tank gets pretty empty.

Then it was therapeutic. Getting the words down helped us wrap our heads around, and come to grips with, what happened at each turn.

Why do we keep the blog going now?

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Action stations. Actions stations. Set condition one throughout the ship. This is not a drill.

When we last left our hero, he had felled the Iron Sheik, and just begun his reign as World Wrestling Federation heavyweight champion. Bells rang. Ewoks rejoyced.

Ari came home.

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The bout begins…

Introducing first, the challenger. From Lake Boon, Stow, Massachusetts, weighing 5 pounds, 12 ounces, The Incredible Ari Francis Danger Hulkamania Schultz.

And his opponent, from the Depths of Despair, the World Wrestling Federation heavyweight champion, The Iron “Aortic Stenosis” Sheik.

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Captivity, Day 15

Can I get a T-bone next time?

Time is short. Surveillance at this facility is difficult to evade. Right to it, then.

I write this message with great hopes that it will reach friendly eyes unmolested. Alas I cannot guarantee it will escape interception or be planted with misinformation.

I’ve been taken behind enemy lines. Masters of psychological warfare, my captors must have hypnotized me to believe they, too, are friendlies, but I see right through them. I am no Manchurian Candidate, friends! Send in your Queen of Hearts. Do your worst!

My belief is they intend to gain my trust in order for me to share vital, classified information I’ve thus far kept close to the vest.

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Whaddup Peoples!

How you doin?

First things first. I can’t believe my not-so-forward-thinking parents didn’t set up my Facebook page before my birthday. Today I turned 4.

Days.

Now I’m going to have to wait 362 more (leap year, you know) for all the HBD messages on my timeline that you old folk seem to look forward to so much.

Since you missed it, allow me catch you up.

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The Adventure Continues

Been a little bit
Since the last update. Please share
You thoughts if you like

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As I read our dear friend Laurie (Newell) Morse’s Christmas wish for Baby Schultz on Give Forward I’m reminded of how lucky we are to have such strong network of friends and family who’ve been so supportive during this whole ordeal.

Over the last few months, “luck” has taken on a whole meaning to me. I’ve heard from many people that I’m very lucky.

You’re so lucky…

  • …that you live close to Boston and great medical facilities.
  • …that they caught the heart defect so early.
  • …that there’s a surgery that can help.

When people first started telling me how lucky I was, I wanted to scream. How is having a baby with an extremely complex heart defect lucky? How is having in utero heart surgery lucky? How is having to have conversations with doctors about termination, mortality rates, palliative care, and open heart surgery within days of birth lucky?

I felt like one of the most unlucky people in world.

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Surgery part deux was a technical success. Erica and Danger came back from the O.R. just before noon. As for what happened and what’s next, the update from last surgery pretty much says it all. At this point we haven’t had the post-surgery ultrasound. We’ll have that later today and an echo tomorrow. At that point we’ll know a little more.

All of these surgeries are recorded on video. Through channels that I can’t really discuss, we’ve obtained an unauthorized bootleg, including footage of the doctors preparing. It’s really amazing what happens behind the scenes.

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